Meat Sweats

This past Saturday I hosted my long-awaited stronglifts session, followed by a massive meal of various animals and numerous glasses of whiskey and Bailey’s Irish Cream.

Luckily I had Christina, Chris, Whitney and Blair to help me polish off the table of meat, but unfortunately we all came down with a severe case of the meat sweats and the meat table won the battle.

Following this event, I have to decided to enlighten you all to some of the potential benefits of the meat sweats.

I think it is important to experience the meat sweats at least twice a month. It can be comparable to lifting and the muscle soreness that can accompany it in the following days. Just like delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) is an indicator that you have exposed your muscles to eccentric contractions, the meat sweats are an indicator that you have gone above and beyond the caloric call of duty. You can use your cheat day as a day to get the meat sweats and make sure your body gets all the protein it needs, and then some.

Apparently, there are degrees of meat sweats. Says The Free Dictionary:

“Meat sweats are generally categorized on a scale of varying degrees starting at third-degree, being a mild meat sweat, to a first-degree meat sweat being very severe in nature. Generally, pork and chicken dishes will result in third-degree meat sweats, depending on the gross amount consumed, and beef will result in a first-degree meat sweat. A first-degree meat sweat can result in a temporary debilitating condition causing one to feel symptoms of lethargy, depression and severe apathy. The spiciness of the meat consumed, in a counterintuitive outcome, does not necessarily increase amount of meat sweats that one experiences. This may have to do with the nature of meat sweats, which have a base of lipids rather than perspiration.”

So as you can see, we were suffering from 3rd, 2nd and 1st degree meat sweats. We had a fever, and the only cure was dessert. Two desserts, to be precise.

Luckily, this means I get the opportunity to have a fridge full of cooked meat I can grab at a moments notice. I am a happy man.

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