Monday, June 17, 2013
10 Reasons Why Heavy Lifting Is Terrible For Women
Everyone knows that lifting makes women big, bulky, and less desirable. But, do they know the reasons why? I compiled my top ten reasons as to why women should NEVER EVER even think about touching a weight. Ever.
1. You will find less and less that you are asked to go to the kitchen and make a sandwich. What will you do with all that free time?!?
2. Men on the Internet will tell you that you are too big. Can you handle no longer being the object of a stranger's fantasy?
3. Pants won't fit because your butt has gotten so big. Imagine actually filling out a pair of pants, the horror!!
4. Your children might see that a woman can be something more than a frail object meant to please a man. Challenging the status quo is never a good thing.
5. You can eat a much larger amount of delicious food and not gain a pound. Disgusting! Pass the tofu and skim milk please.
6. Men will avoid you at the gym when you lift more than they do. How are you supposed to know how to lift without their constant coaching?
7. You will be able to open a pickle jar without a man or a knife. No one should possess that much raw power.
8. Your bones will maintain a thick density throughout your life. Do you really want to rob a surgeon of your money for osteoporosis treatment?
9. Heavy lifting can be as diverse as you want to make it. Your time would be much better spent on a treadmill every day watching CNN.
10. You will be shunned from old friends that want you to go clubbing every night. Those are the kinds of friends you just don't want to lose.
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Posted by Brandon Morrison at 4:28 PM