Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Importance of Spandex


Right now, as we speak, the world is suffering from a pandemic: Not enough men and women are training in spandex. I am not making this up, you can check with the CDC. Many men would agree that spandex is one of the greatest inventions anywhere, ever. But they only relate this to women. Men need to realize that not only do most women want to see men training in spandex, spandex can also offer benefits to your training. Let's check out a few of the benefits.




   One of the most obvious benefits of training in spandex is apparatus containment. The problem with training in basketball or gym shorts is apparatus hangin' and swangin'. This can interfere with bar paths, and cause undue pain to the individual. Spandex solves this problem and will keep your goods from swangin' lane to lane. No longer will you have to tuck it back, or have massive amounts of chalk on your crotch from constantly having to readjust yourself. Now isn't that nice?



Shorts can catch on your knee when squatting or worse, have the inseam interfere with your depth because they are too small due to your massive gluteus booteus. Spandex solves both of these issues. By conforming to the shape of your lower body, no longer will you have to worry about depth and knee position being called into question. Is there anything worse on the planet than having your buttcrack hang out because your shorts are caught on your knee? I think not, good sir.



Finally, the most important part about wearing spandex is: it drives the ladies (or gents) completely wild. Men, think about how you feel when you see this. That is roughly how your opposite sex feels when they see your giant glutes in spandex, or quads so large they are about to spill over your knees. There is an old Chinese proverb, 如果你已經有了它,炫耀它, which translates to "If you've got it, flaunt it ". This quote holds true here, if you have some tree trunks, why wouldn't you want to help out a fellow lifter by allowing them to stare at them for an awkwardly long amount of time? Don't be one of those little fellas' who gets uncomfortable at the sight of a man in spandex: what are you, homeschooled? Do the world a favor and drop trou for some spandex today.*


*This message brought to you by the LBEB Coalition For Spandex Awareness.

17 comments:

  1. I read some where that spandex or compression shorts can help increase squats too by up to five percent even if u where shorts over top....

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  2. You look like big bird. Thefuck is wrong with your knees?

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  3. Spandex is associated with the gay cultur, and that is why men stopped wearing it. They would soon stop wearing underwear s as gay men wear them!! Women in spandex is associated with Jane Fonda in spandex, shows their age. Spandex gear just needs to become more trendy.

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  4. Spandex also increases blood flow to the area...but i always wear rugby shorts over my compression shorts cause walking around with a bunch of men with my junk on display is not my idea of a good time

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  5. This was hilarious, and I'm sharing it with my crossfit dude friends...hopefully they will stop hiding their sexy quads in those stupid baggy gym shorts.

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  6. Wearing spandex in the gym is exactly how I got my man!!

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  7. I think Fishnet is like Spandex on steroids.

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  8. You guys are hilarious and I love it! I do enjoy the great advice offered by your somewhat-more-serious LBEB blogs, but keep the hilarity coming as well! PS - I don't even own shorts, it's spandex all the time, baby!

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  9. I warm up much faster and lift more when I wear spandex to the gym, but I think it's because I feel nervous (because I'm the only guy at the gym in spandex) and sexy at the same time. It gets my blood pumpling and makes me feel charged.

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  11. A spandex short is a short made of a tight, stretchy material. These shorts are commonly worn by athletes during practices and games for a variety of different benefits. Additionally, spandex shorts can help squeeze and sculpt a man's body, making him look more solid or muscular than he might look without the short on.

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  12. Why don't you get a nice pair of spandex trunks for sale at the LBEB store?

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  13. For gym spandex I contacted http://www.apparelnbags.com/athleticwear-athletic-shorts.htm and i am really impressed by this working.

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  14. It is not my purpose to get into a religious discussion here, I only site the on top of because it tends to illustrate my earlier point of a gay lobby and a strong "gay agenda.

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  15. I even can not think to go to gym without spandex.
    Tanks and Sleeveless

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  16. Ahh good to see my same name. Spandex is much more comfortable rather than else using in the gym.
    http://www.clothingnbags.com/women-polo-shirts

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